Just keep swimming...

September 15, 2016

So it has been 4 months since my Dad entered hospice. He is down 5 lbs from 116 to 111 lbs. We revoked hospice as he wanted more tests done. Our health care system has been messed up by Obamacare, now in order to figure out what your cancer is doing you have to revoke hospice. So unlike 16 years ago when my Mom was in hospice, pre Obamacare. Not only that hospice providers are not all alike. Some have 300 patients and have a business model, while others have 75 patients and are Physician driven, who do you think gives better care? At least at this point in our health system we can choose a different one, as the system is now going that may no longer be an option. Hospice Plus did not adequately address my Dad's pain. It seemed like they wanted to overdose him on his narcotics. As a nurse looking at the dosage I was appalled at what they would have a lay person give a man of his stature. My poor brother who was taking care of him during his pain episode had no clue what it would do to him. he was being a good son trying to help my Dad get good pain relief. I worked many years as a nurse, with experience in oncology and am skilled at pain management so I know how to titrate Narcotics to achieve control. Not so the laymen. So my Dad was snowed and later started hallucinating....yup good way to send them to a coma or a place of no return. Other than that my Dad is doing amazingly well. It took a few days to clear the morphine out of his system, and more fights with the hospice nurse and physician. Now he is holding his own. He takes a walk daily, eats like a bird, does some planting and goes out a bit to do some shopping. No nausea, pain when controlled at a 1 to 2, a dull ache. He is waiting to see what his tumor markers say and for a CT scan to see what has happened As well as other labs. Pancreatic cancer, a rarity to see someone surpass their 7th month with it and still be walking around. It was definitely not what I envisioned when my Dad first started this journey. It has been a hard day for me. My wonderful husband left today To go home and work and it will be 19 days without him. It is hard on us all. My family has taken a big hit during this time of our lives. My children are learning the reality of what life entails, and how to serve sacrificially without complaint. I am growing weary. I see some naturopaths that have all said that my adrenals are shot. So I take my supplements and try to get some sleep. I do miss the fall of Minnesota, it is still in the 90's here and hard to go outside for long periods. Funny thing is that they have closed all the outdoor pools, such a difference from Minnesota! We continue to just keep swimming despite it all, in an indoor pool. Ps. Please ignore the errors I am posting from a phone...